Why learn to eat from an admittedly fat lady? If I’m fat, I clearly don’t know how to eat, right?
Before I started teaching people how to eat normally, I learned a lot about nutrition in school and various hospitals. And what I learned is that eating is only one of many, many factors that determine your weight. Once you know that, you’re on your way.
So, let’s start with this: you already know how to eat.
You were, in fact, born knowing how to eat. So why, for the love of all that’s holy, would you need to learn to eat?
Because, on the long and winding road between then and now, maybe you took a wrong turn or two.
Or seven.
There are so many wrong turns to take, it’s hard to avoid taking them.
Maybe you dieted for years. Or the intuitive eating thing just … didn’t … happen.
Maybe your parents were funny about food, or pressured you about your weight, and you’re terrified you’ll screw up your own kids.
Maybe you’ve heard so much about acai berries and revenge bodies and food additives that you no longer know what to eat without fearing it’s somehow going to kill you. (Or make you fat.)
Maybe you find yourself eating more than you want, or less than you want. Maybe you feel guilty for eating, for actually liking food.
Maybe eating has become a chore.
When eating stops being fun, it means you’ve taken a wrong turn.
Some signs that you need a refresher:
- You haven’t felt hunger or fullness for a long, long time – or you don’t notice it until you’re too hungry or uncomfortably full.
- You’re simultaneously worried that you won’t get enough to eat … and that you’ll eat too much.
- You’re scared that, if you let yourself go, you’ll eat and eat and never stop. And you’re afraid of what will happen to your weight if you do.
- You just want to, you know … eat. Without the drama.
Sound familiar?
It’s happened to all of us. It happened to me. Given the weird, mixed-up world we live in, how could it not?
People are constantly telling you what to eat. Or what not to eat, and how not to eat it.
Put down your fork. Cut your meal in half. Stop before you’re full. Portion control. Use smaller plates. Weigh your food. Weigh yourself.
Chew fifty times. Don’t drink at meals. Eat only protein. Eat good carbs. Use healthy fats. Drink 8 glasses of water. Eat an apple. Don’t eat while upset.
Have a bath. Rate your hunger. Don’t eat empty calories. Eat whole foods. Eat raw foods. Don’t eat starch with protein. Dairy is bad. Meat is bad. Soy is bad.
Don’t eat white foods. Bread is bad. Juice is bad. Eggs are bad. Butter is bad. Margarine is bad. Give up caffeine. Swear off sugar. Take this pill. Have this surgery. Have an enema.
And that’s just not what I do — not even remotely.
I don’t do finger-wagging or weight nagging. I don’t weigh you and I don’t take food away from you. I don’t make you eat food you don’t like, and I don’t make you feel bad for eating the food you do like.
What do I do? Excellent question.
What I Do
I take you from anxious and messed-up around food to chill and pretty happy.
From not knowing what hungry or full feels like, to hearing the familiar knock-knock-knock of appetite right on time, every time, and then stopping on a dime when you’re just … done.
From feeling confused and vaguely guilty about all that nutrition you should be getting, to trusting that, hey, you know what you’re doing — and you’re doing just fine.
From needing to eat the entire bag of Cheetos just because it’s there and you’re held in thrall to its horrible, guilt-ridden temptingness … to eating Cheetos when (and if) you want them — maybe a little, maybe a lot, but completely drama-free.
I teach you to like food, and to respect your body. And to be okay with that.
How I Do It
Through a delicious blend of structure, permission, and trust.
By not telling you what to eat.
By not judging you on your weight.
By not making you keep a food diary.
By soothing your fears around food and weight.
By figuring out what kind of eating is just right for you.
By letting your body do what it needs to do to find its happy size.
By clearing away all the crap to discover what you already know: how to eat.
What Happens
If this sounds like exactly what you need, here’s how it works:
- The program is 12 sessions of learning-to-eat goodness — one session every week or two, or even once a month. Your choice.
- You’ll tell me the story of your eating, dieting and weight history, how you feel about your body, and what foods you love.
- I’ll help you learn to take care of yourself with eating, how to get back to the basics of what you already know, and how to hear what your body is telling you.
To make sure the program is working for you, I track your progress with validated assessment tools.
That way we know where you started, and how far you’ve come.
But I Don’t Live Near You!
Thankfully, I work virtually.
It’ll be like a housecall, and you can do it in your pajamas if that’s your thing.
My Qualifications or, Why You Can Trust Me
Obviously you’ll want to know if I know what the hell I’m doing. So here are my details:
- I was trained by Ellyn Satter in the “How to Eat” protocol — a weight-neutral program proven to improve eating and body image, regardless of weight.
- As a nutritionist, I’ve had some experience! When I was still a student, I worked in both food service and clinical nutrition at a large hospital system, dabbling in everything from diabetes to cancer care to eating disorders, before starting my own counseling practice as a diet tech in 2010. Finally, I completed an internship (more hospitals! where I received dietetic training in gastroenterology, mental health and addictions, oncology, general medicine, and long-term care) and became a Registered Dietitian in 2015.
- I’m an old-school fat blogger who has been writing about fat acceptance and Health at Every Size for 20 years.
- I struggled with my own eating and body stuff after a spectacularly bad dieting experience — then I got help from a dietitian trained in “How to Eat,” and have felt good about food and my body ever since. (That’s why I was so utterly thrilled to get trained myself.)
The Schedule
I book sessions Monday through Friday only, between 9:30am – 4:30pm Eastern time.
How Much?
$125 per session
Each session costs $125 US (or $165 Canadian.)
When you consider how much money one can burn on diet books and commercial weight loss programs and fat-melting supplements that don’t actually work, and don’t make you feel especially great about yourself for the long haul, well…
Doing this program is like going to therapy instead of reading a self-help book. For some people, a book is enough, and for others, it barely makes a dent. Having someone take your hand and guide you one-on-one can make all the difference.
Learning to eat is something that will stay with you for life. It’ll put an end to the cycle of getting on and then falling off the old wagon. It’ll help you navigate this wild mixed-up world of ours, resilient against the siren song of dieting and self-hatred, happily enjoying your food and yourself — even when the people around you are engaged in a Sisyphean struggle against their bodies.
Dieting will no longer seem as tempting because you’ll have found something so much better.
And it doesn’t end with you — if you have kids, you’ll pass it on.
If you have concerns of the budgetary variety, remember — you can opt to have one session per month. Your choice.
And if it turns out that you need something completely different from what I do, I’ll give your money back immediately and point you in the right direction.
If you’re just not sure this is for you? That’s perfectly legit — it’s not for everyone.
We’re still friends. I still like you. We can still hang out on Twitter.
Sound good?
You can get started right now if you want.
- Check to see if you’re on my states/provinces list, below.
- Click the Yes! button if you are. (Click the Canadians! button if you’re in Canada.)
- Pay $125 USD (or $165 CAD) by credit card, banking, or PayPal to cover the first session.
- Check your email — the one associated with your payment method — and within 24 hours, I will send you some forms and (easy!) quizzes to fill out.
- We’ll schedule your first session by email, and you’ll tell me your story.
(Canadians, click the one below.)
Canada
- Ontario
- Nova Scotia
- Newfoundland & Labrador
- Yukon
- Northwest Territories
- Nunavut
United States
- Arizona
- Connecticut
- Hawaii
- Indiana
- Massachusetts
- Michigan
- New York
- Oklahoma
- Oregon
- Pennsylvania
- Texas
- Vermont
- Washington
- West Virginia
- Wisconsin
Is your location on the list? Great, go back to signing up!
P. S. Australians! Glad you made it. So, the bad news is, I’m no longer taking clients in Australia. The good news is, my friend Kerry in Western Australia can! Go sign up. You’ll love her.